Zen College Life

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There is more hunger for love and appreciation in this world than for bread. -Mother Teresa

In Dale Carnegie’s How To Win Friends And Influence People, one of the most important qualities he mentioned in getting along with people is honest and sincere appreciation. Now whether or not you realize it, appreciation is one of the most motivating gifts one person can give another. How do you feel when you work really hard every day at work, and your work goes unnoticed? Or even better, how one small comment of thanks and appreciation can make your day so much better?

If you believe that people are innately good, as I do, then it would also be true that people tend to follow the pattern of trying to do what is most good, as this would be most important to them. When you do not show your appreciation for what they are doing, you tell them that what they are doing is not important to you (and since they are doing from what they believe, you are saying that their beliefs, and in essence themselves are not important to you). When you do show appreciation, on the other hand, you empower the other person. You tell them that you understand their efforts, and that you agree with the importance of their beliefs and themselves. There is no greater gift you could give a person trying to persevere in a cause, then to let them know you support them and believe in what they are doing. (You could even show your appreciation with a comment on this site! )

Now you may question as to how you could and should show appreciation. Appreciation comes in many forms. Reciprocate a stranger’s smile, tip a worthy server graciously, give your secretary a personalized gift (as if any of us actually have our own secretary). But true appreciation can be so much simpler than that.

If you can read this I’m going to assume that you can also speak. So show your appreciation by telling people how much you appreciate them. But don’t just tell them you appreciate them, tell them why. If you appreciate your friend for her kindness, tell her so. If your brother is very loyal and protective of you, tell him you appreciate his loyalty. When you appreciate people enough to notice the details, and you tell them, your words of praise are like music to their ears. You will motivate them to continue the same acts even more. And if you praise them in front of other people, you will notice other people doing the same thing. Praise is an amazing motivator.

If you feel that their acts deserve more than words, but are strapped for cash (as most of us students are), there are still many things you could do. A hand written note, for one, is an amazing gift. It allows you to say all of the nice, sweet things you want to say, to show your appreciation, and it will allow them to read and reread as many times as they’d like (a constant motivator). If your person is a java-junky, a conversation over a cup of coffee could do the trick. If you eat out with your person, take the opportunity to cover their bill, and let them know then how much you appreciate them. There are so many opportunities to show your appreciation (and we miss all of them) that anything you do will be noticed. Your act of appreciation will send ripples of kindness through your circle of friends and family, in a way that could potentially change things on a larger scale.

If you are my friend, I want you to know now, that I appreciate your friendship. If you are a regular reader here at ZCL, know that I appreciate your listening ear. It is because of you that I write. You are the reason I take time out of my day to write some words of wisdom (or obviousness ) to help us all better ourselves. If you are my family, I appreciate everything you do and have done for me, and if you are my fiancé, I appreciate the fact that you said “Yes” when you could have punched me in the face and ran away. I appreciate you all.

Just as a sidenote, my MS150 fundraising ends next week. Want to show your appreciation for ZCL? make a small donation. Thanks.

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