Having a bad day? These celebrity interviews will make you feel much better. The public often claims that they have a right to know as much as they wish about their favorite celebs, but sometimes TMI — or just being downright insane — casts a famous person in an unflattering light. Taking your turn in the hot seat can't be easy, especially if you're famous and have a reputation to uphold or protect. But luckily for you readers, decency isn't something that these 11 celebrities seem to care much about. Fire your publicist and pull up a seat — these celebrity interviews aren't to be missed.
Winning? Think again. In the 2011 interview that launched 1,000 memes and entertained the Twitterverse throughout its news cycle, the off-the-rails actor appeared manic on Good Morning America, smoking cigarettes and bragging about having "Tiger Blood." During the 2011 multi-part interview, Sheen assured everyone that he wasn't currently on drugs and that he was "bi-winning" instead of bipolar. The polyamorous actor also happily confessed to "banging seven gram rocks" of cocaine, and saying of less fortunate drug users (the ones that use and die), "Dying's for fools … You should've read the directions before you showed up to the party." Feel free to watch Sheen's derailment here.
What He Should Have Said: "I haven't used drugs in a month, but I'm still bouncing back from getting really wasted and tweeting a whole bunch. Have you ever drunk Facebooked? It's like that, only millions of people read my stuff, not just my college ex-girlfriend and my third cousin. I obviously lack a filtration mechanism, and I'm trying to have a positive relationship with my kids and my harem of porn star girlfriends. I know I seem a little crazy, but really, I'm just jacked up on six cases of Red Bull. Also, I've just been fired from my hit TV show. I'm taking some time to regroup. Have you seen Hot Shots! Part Deux? Major League? Remember me for that stuff, not this stuff."
"When you say teenage girls, how old are we talkin'?"
Although his remix to "Ignition" is hot and fresh out the kitchen, Kels got himself into a massive amount of PR trouble in a 2008 interview with BET. The reaction from the interviewer is priceless, and the singer spent the next five minutes making it much, much worse.
What He Should Have Said: "No." Also? He should have meant it. Get some help, R. Kelly. Get some help.
Repeatedly saying, "the boy is gone, the boy … is gone," Oprah was really trying to keep it light and be excited in this interview gone horribly, horribly bad. Long rumored to be secretly gay, and clearly high on Scientology, the A-list actor couldn't sit still when he was asked about his bride, Katie Holmes in this classic Oprah interview.
What He Should've Done: Keep your hands and feet to yourself, please. Although it's obvious you're friends with Oprah (are you, Tom?), it's common courtesy to keep your shoes off of a billionaire's couch. And if you want to get invited back, don't shake the host.
Wouldn't it be nice to be so famous that you could show up sloshed and still keep your job? In this Fox interview, Paula Abdul talks American Idol, kind of. She also slurs her words, gesticulates erratically, and makes a bit of a fool of herself. The singer's interview prompted scads of gossip and a bit of worry about her habits and vices.
What She Should Have Done: Showing up sober would be a good start. If that's impossible, maybe don't mix booze with pills.
In this 2010 interview with the panel of The Insider, the late Gary Coleman was asked about domestic violence issues with his wife. What followed was a little man getting defensive in a big way, dropping the F-bomb thither and yon. "Walk off a plank and drown yourself in the ocean," he yells, also saying, "You're a f—ing asshole. You can go f—yourself," before storming out of the interview.
What He Should Have Said: Anything besides "walk off a plank." Pirates were so 2009.
Always nice to know we live in a world where unprofessional drunkards can get the attention of stars. David Cross agreed to an impromptu interview from bottom feeder Gordon Downs ("but my real name is Senator Drinks-A-Lot"), and proceeded to be the victim of an awkward five-minute train wreck. Good thing it's on video. Downs talks at Cross, reading him some of his press and rarely asking questions, while Cross gets increasingly impatient (but maintains his cool). The interviewer burps and continually refers to the fact that he's three sheets; he talks about Coachella and shows the comedian pictures of himself with other famous people. And big ups go to David Cross — at the end of the interview, he swipes his personal cell phone number from Downs' notes.
What Downs Should Have Done: Stayed at the frat party and name-dropped that some comedian retweeted him once. Or taken a cold shower. Or apologized to his family for being such a prideless disappointment.
In this old interview from an MTV show with Denis Leary, Jon Stewart, Janeane Garofolo, and Chris Kattan, Vanilla Ice (wearing a garish Dr. Evil shirt) goes crazy with a baseball bat and completely wrecks the set — ostensibly to demonstrate his frustration with his only hit "Ice Ice Baby". Chris Kattan wins the comedy prize among his funny cohorts, deadpan yelling, "No, Vanilla!"
It wouldn't make for good TV, but What Vanilla Should Have Said: "Let's talk about something else, please. I'm frustrated with the fact that this small exemplar of my huge catalog of work is the only thing by which I'm known. I just want to be remembered as a serious artist, because that's exactly what I am. A super serious artist. Haven't you heard? To the extreme, you guys, I rock a mic like a vandal. Seriously — light up that stage. You will definitely be seeing me jump like a candle. Just take a look at this Dr. Evil shirt and flat top! How come America doesn't get that I'm such a totally serious artist?!" Alternatively, he could have performed "Ice Ice Baby", cashed his check, and called it a day. That's all the people really want, Rob. Give the people what they want.
Though this one didn't go horribly bad, no one wakes up in the morning wondering what cartoonish impressions Danny DeVito would do of then-President George W. Bush while hanging out with a gaggle of fairly hip famous chicks after a full night of boozing with George Clooney. But, because you have The View, that's exactly what you get. Bleary eyes, slurring, and telling tales of his sex romps in the Lincoln Bedroom, DeVito definitely didn't combat his fun-loving, little caring image.
What He Should Have Done: Brought George Clooney, the coked out strippers, and bottles of Ciroc they were probably hanging out with, and some strobe lights and showed Barbara Walters her first proper rave.
There's only one Andy Kaufman, and it's not Crispin Glover. When the actor showed up in some strange character wearing a wig, he threw David Letterman for a loop. Gunning for laughs, or shocks, or something, the jury's still out on the rationale (or lack thereof) behind the 1987 interview. The result? A supremely annoyed Letterman and a failed attempt at Glover looking sane.
What He Should Have Done: Showed up wearing normal clothes. Or been more creative and actually pulled off whatever stunt the Back to the Future actor was attempting. Or not be named "Crispin" — that'll make anybody weird.
OK, so maybe David Letterman just hates men that wear women's clothing. In this super awkward 2003 interview, it's clear that the goth superstar and the late-night legend have contempt for each other and their respective styles. Manson is characteristically dark and low-speaking, but in this video clip, he also seems to be on some major downers. Alternatively, perhaps he's just so over network television shows that he gets to use as a platform free publicity that he can't bring himself to drop his haughty, aloof air. And Letterman isn't buying it, either. When Manson says that if he were a jock in high school he probably would have beat himself up, Letterman quips, "That's the first reasonable thing you've said tonight."
What Manson Should Have Said: "I've got a top ten list for you, Dave." And then just said "Hail Satan" ten times.
Oh, 'Ye. Can't you dial down the arrogance for Matt Lauer? In a 2010 Today Show interview, the rap star is seen quieting people off-camera, having shifty eyes, and inexplicably answering questions related to his charge that George W. Bush is a racist. After the fact, West went on a characteristic all-caps Twitter rant against the beloved journalist and the experience, and threatened never to speak to the press again.
What He Should Have Done: Never speak to the press again. That would be fine, just fine.